2014. It's almost over. Where did it go? And so fast. It's done and gone so fast.
And what do I have to show for it?
I love to look back on the year and see what's changed. What did I get done that I wanted to and what plans fell in the gutter? I especially love this look back since I've started choosing ONE WORD to guide my year (explained here).
Last year my word was CREATE. I had so many great plans, while still leaving things open to the natural flow of my life and whatever the world would bring my way. Some of my plans came to fruition. Others, not so much.
I wanted to draw more. I did, but not as much as I had planned.
I wanted to create the yard I'd been dreaming of. I made progress, but not as much as I had planned (thank you hysterectomy).
I wanted to make my room a haven. I did really well at this (although maintenance is tricky).
I had a list of words as part of my plan. Some with obvious meaning, others more ethereal. I created a vision canvas to help guide me. I hung it on my closet door and referred to it often, to just kind of check in with myself.
I wanted to create:
- peace
- stability
- strength
- refuge
- dragonflies*
- healing
- haven
- space
- calm
- wellness
- sanctuary
- satisfaction
- fortitude
- oasis
- happiness
- gargoyles*
- garden
- structure
- dragons*
- wholeness
- atonement
- shelter
- freedom
- health
- joy
- self
- focus
- safety
- divinity
- dreams
- escape
- order
*I didn't want to create dragonflies, gargoyles, or dragons; I wanted to incorporate them into my life. I love them in a magical way. They sing to my heart. I did learn to draw a basic dragonfly that I'm happy with. I'm still searching for just the right gargoyle(s). But as for the dragon, I'm not there yet. I wanted to learn to draw one. I have some ideas, and a tutorial for a basic one, but no finished product. I still have today and tomorrow. Maybe I'll get it done before the year is over.
As for the others on my list, I have had a certain measure of success on all of them. And that's why the ONE WORD idea works for me. I don't have to be perfect (perfectionism is a struggle I have). I keep it very open, loosely defined. It's a guide, not a restriction. Even with all the struggles and health issues I had this last year, I'm calling it a win!
I'll keep my vision canvas for CREATE up for a while. I love the ideas it contains and it makes me happy. And I'm eager to create one for my new word for 2015. It's just the perfect word for my life right now. That will be my next post.
Showing posts with label Contentment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Contentment. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Friday, April 25, 2014
An Awfully Proud Mama
This is our oldest daughter, Jessica. And today she graduated from Brigham Young University.
Attending her commencement and convocation exercises was amazing. I can't even begin to describe my pride in her achievements and in the incredible young woman she is.
We don't have much money. We live paycheck to paycheck and always have. At times of job loss we've been on food stamps and church assistance. My husband and I both attended some college, but neither of us finished our degrees.
Jessica loves learning. She's so smart and works hard. She always wanted to go to college and I've known for most of her life that we couldn't afford to send her. I remember telling her that if she wanted to go to college, she'd need a scholarship or would have to work her way through. Turns out she needed both.
She earned a full-tuition scholarship for four years through good grades and test scores. Some of her abilities are genetic, to be sure. She's a quick learner and has been blessed with a mind that works the way the school systems are set up to test. But she also had to put forth a lot of effort. She had to sacrifice things she wanted, which sometimes meant her social life. But she did it.
But there was still the cost of books. And for a time there was the cost of living away from home. And there was the expense of her trip to Russia to teach English to young children for four months. She paid for these things herself almost in entirety.
For the first two years of her schooling she worked a 4:00am job as a custodian. For the next year she worked a 6:00am job as a custodian. And near the end she finally got her dream job - doing custodial work in the evening. (Just kidding about that being her dream job, but the timing sure was better.) All of this to pay for her books and other things she needed, because we couldn't. And she worked these jobs while carrying a full-time load of classes.
Everyone has their own path in life. Not everyone will go to college, nor should they. I don't think success is measured by whether or not a person has a degree or how much money they earn. I don't think a person will be happier just because they have a bachelor's degree.
But what I do think will make a person happier and what does constitute success is an ability to have a dream, to want something with all their heart, and to have the drive to make it happen.
These last two days I got to see my daughter realize a dream of hers that she's worked so hard for almost all her life. And it was an absolutely amazing experience!
Attending her commencement and convocation exercises was amazing. I can't even begin to describe my pride in her achievements and in the incredible young woman she is.
We don't have much money. We live paycheck to paycheck and always have. At times of job loss we've been on food stamps and church assistance. My husband and I both attended some college, but neither of us finished our degrees.
Jessica loves learning. She's so smart and works hard. She always wanted to go to college and I've known for most of her life that we couldn't afford to send her. I remember telling her that if she wanted to go to college, she'd need a scholarship or would have to work her way through. Turns out she needed both.
She earned a full-tuition scholarship for four years through good grades and test scores. Some of her abilities are genetic, to be sure. She's a quick learner and has been blessed with a mind that works the way the school systems are set up to test. But she also had to put forth a lot of effort. She had to sacrifice things she wanted, which sometimes meant her social life. But she did it.
But there was still the cost of books. And for a time there was the cost of living away from home. And there was the expense of her trip to Russia to teach English to young children for four months. She paid for these things herself almost in entirety.
For the first two years of her schooling she worked a 4:00am job as a custodian. For the next year she worked a 6:00am job as a custodian. And near the end she finally got her dream job - doing custodial work in the evening. (Just kidding about that being her dream job, but the timing sure was better.) All of this to pay for her books and other things she needed, because we couldn't. And she worked these jobs while carrying a full-time load of classes.
Everyone has their own path in life. Not everyone will go to college, nor should they. I don't think success is measured by whether or not a person has a degree or how much money they earn. I don't think a person will be happier just because they have a bachelor's degree.
But what I do think will make a person happier and what does constitute success is an ability to have a dream, to want something with all their heart, and to have the drive to make it happen.
These last two days I got to see my daughter realize a dream of hers that she's worked so hard for almost all her life. And it was an absolutely amazing experience!
Saturday, January 5, 2013
In the Moment
My goal for 2013 is to fully experience life more. To see the things I've been missing. To not just pass through life but to suck the marrow from each experience.
I'm new at this, but I've begun trying.
For my birthday my two adult daughters sent my husband and me away for the weekend. Just a couple towns over at a motel, but it was wonderful. As part of our weekend away they'd also provided us with tickets to The Life of Pi, a movie I'd been wanting to watch. And this is where my experience began.
It started out as a normal night at the movies. We got snacks. We found our seats. We watched the previews. I was there to watch a movie. That's all.
But it became more. The movie was so beautiful visually. It was eye candy. Many scenes like something out of a fairy tale. As I was marvelling at the colors and effects that made it so magical, I remembered to see.
At first I was seeing the movie. The details. The texture. The flavor of the film. The movie was delicious.
But then I was seeing the moment. With more senses than just my eyes. I was seeing it with my heart. My arm was laced through my husband's arm. I noticed the feeling of his skin on mine as I rested my hand on his forearm, the tingle I still get when we touch. I felt the shape of the muscle as he turned his hand. And the outside of my arm was resting against his stomach. I noticed each slow breath. In and out in such a mundane way. Something that happens over and over. But in this moment I noticed the power of what that meant. That meant my husband was healthy. He was filled with the breath of life. He was at peace, as shown by the slow tempo of his relaxed breathing. I felt the heat of his body warming mine through the simple touch of our arms. I knew he was happy to be there with me. We were together in a very real way. We were sharing a moment and I was seeing that moment.
You might think noticing these things distracted me from the movie, but it didn't. It enhanced it. It was like turning up the brightness. The colors were stronger. The glory was more intense. The fairy tale nature of the moment with my husband slipped into the fairy tale of the movie. The peace and joy of the moment brought contentment. Which fit with the nature of the main character as he told his story. He radiated peace. He was happy in his life. He was content. And so was I.
Pi and I were together in that moment. Both in the moment we were meant to occupy. And filling up every bit of the space within it. I can't wait to learn more.
I'm new at this, but I've begun trying.
For my birthday my two adult daughters sent my husband and me away for the weekend. Just a couple towns over at a motel, but it was wonderful. As part of our weekend away they'd also provided us with tickets to The Life of Pi, a movie I'd been wanting to watch. And this is where my experience began.
It started out as a normal night at the movies. We got snacks. We found our seats. We watched the previews. I was there to watch a movie. That's all.
But it became more. The movie was so beautiful visually. It was eye candy. Many scenes like something out of a fairy tale. As I was marvelling at the colors and effects that made it so magical, I remembered to see.
At first I was seeing the movie. The details. The texture. The flavor of the film. The movie was delicious.
But then I was seeing the moment. With more senses than just my eyes. I was seeing it with my heart. My arm was laced through my husband's arm. I noticed the feeling of his skin on mine as I rested my hand on his forearm, the tingle I still get when we touch. I felt the shape of the muscle as he turned his hand. And the outside of my arm was resting against his stomach. I noticed each slow breath. In and out in such a mundane way. Something that happens over and over. But in this moment I noticed the power of what that meant. That meant my husband was healthy. He was filled with the breath of life. He was at peace, as shown by the slow tempo of his relaxed breathing. I felt the heat of his body warming mine through the simple touch of our arms. I knew he was happy to be there with me. We were together in a very real way. We were sharing a moment and I was seeing that moment.
You might think noticing these things distracted me from the movie, but it didn't. It enhanced it. It was like turning up the brightness. The colors were stronger. The glory was more intense. The fairy tale nature of the moment with my husband slipped into the fairy tale of the movie. The peace and joy of the moment brought contentment. Which fit with the nature of the main character as he told his story. He radiated peace. He was happy in his life. He was content. And so was I.
Pi and I were together in that moment. Both in the moment we were meant to occupy. And filling up every bit of the space within it. I can't wait to learn more.
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