Saturday, May 15, 2010

A Weighty Issue

It seems like half the people I know are either trying to lose weight or are training for something.  A 5k.  A marathon.  A triathlon.  Something.

When I hear that people are doing these things you know what I want to do?  I want to grab my soccer chair and go sit at the finish line and cheer for them.  I need the soccer chair because standing too long wears me out.  And I would really like to get a parking space close to where I need to be because any long walk or hike is going to cause some serious heavy breathing (and not the good kind).  And I can't cheer too loudly or long because I don't have the lung capacity that I used to have.  But I am behind you all the way; more power to you.

Yes, I know I'm fat.  Yes, it bugs me.  Am I ready to do something about it?  Some days, but not all of them.

Let me just tell you a few of the things that clued me in that I could stand to lose some poundage.
* I weigh more than I ever did pregnant.
* Extra large clothes don't fit anymore.  I mean, I can get them on but who really wants to look at that?
* Sometimes I accidentally catch a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror as I'm looking down and it looks like I'm wearing a whiplash collar.

But while those things do bother me, they don't bother me as much as the fact that I get so winded whenever I do anything.  And I mean anything.  Sometimes the stupidest thing will have me out of breath and I stand there humiliated and hoping that others can't hear me huffing and puffing.

It was bad enough when I was coaching my kids in soccer (a few years ago) and couldn't run around on the field with them for long.  Too much running in soccer for me.  But when a friend of mine wanted to go for a walk and I made it a couple of blocks before wanting to sit down I knew I was in trouble.

I am worried about my health.  I am worried that if I can't lose it soon then I never will.  In fact, I'd keep some of the weight if I just felt better.

And before you start commenting let me just say no, I don't want to go jogging, walking, swimming, or to the gym with you.  I don't need the pressure of a partner and the guilt of letting one down right now.  If I get to the point that I want one, I'll let you know.  I'm just not there yet.

And just a warning to all those of you who are young and can still eat whatever you want without really putting on much weight or are still in good shape without exercising and think people are lying when they tell you it won't always be this way -- they are NOT lying. 

And, ladies, when you hear that in your late thirties and early forties you will thicken around the middle, beware!  It sneaks up on you.  You look in the mirror and your shape seems to be about the same.  You're not really sure why your jeans don't fit the way they used to.  What they don't tell you is that you have to turn sideways to see it.  One day, for some inexplicable reason, you turn to the side and look at yourself in the mirror and WHAM!  There it is.

And you feel like such a fool.  When it happens to you, remember that I warned you.  And it happens to the best of us.


Anonymous said...

Right there with ya, sister!

MaggieJo said...

Cheer for me and I will sit down with you and eat some ice cream afterwards. Deal?
Just make sure to park extra close.

Kazzy said...

It is a sneaky little devil, that 40s weight gain. But I am trying to really think about my health more and more, especially with a couple of friends who had heart problems smack them in the faces this past month.

Best wishes to ya!

Bonnie said...

Oh, isn't that the truth! We get inspired when we get inspired, and it doesn't happen til it happens. It's a magic thing, that tenacious hope, but nobody can want it for us. Be where you are, I always say. No guilt, no recriminations. And no, you can't go running with me no matter how much you beg. I sometimes just want to sleep in, and I don't want to feel guilty about it!

Yvette Clark said...

Here's my problem. I was finally ready (you are so right when you say that it just won't happen until you are ready for it to happen). I finally decided I wanted to start exercising because I was tired of injuring myself due to weak muscles, I was tired of being out of breath, and because I realized my future looked pretty grim if I didn't change something. So I began, and I like it, and I am stronger and have more endurance. But I am not losing any weight. In fact, I think I have gained a little. And I don't feel ready to do any more. No drastic dieting. I don't have the energy or the will for it. So that 's discouraging. But I figure if I just keep doing what I'm doing so that I don't backslide anymore, then maybe at some point, hopefully, I will feel the will and the inspiration to make another fundamental change that will allow me to actually start losing weight. But I just want you to know that everything you said rings absolutely true. You could have been speaking for me.

Scott & Luann said...

I was 30 when it hit me. Ya, i'm not really overweight, but i can't just eat anything in any quantity anymore. i have to skip that desert most nights. I have to cut down on the portion size.

Damn you yummy chocolate milk shake that temps me!