A Smartly Sub

My essay suggesting that we treat life more like competetive sports (Who needs a sub?) is up over at Smartly.
You should go read it.  It will make you smarter and more popular.  You will sleep better at night.  You'll be able to read minds.

Okay, maybe not, but you should still go read it.  It might make you think.  And we could all use more of that.

Who Needs a Sub?

A few weeks ago I was at my daughter's basketball scrimmage.  Even though it was a scrimmage, they were playing hard.  The girls were getting winded, and there were a couple on the bench eager to get in.  The coach asked, "Who needs a sub?"

I was sitting right behind him and answered, "I do."

He didn't hear me.  And he didn't have a sub for me anyway.  But it got me thinking -- wouldn't it be nice if life were a little more like sports?

There would be subs.  That alone makes it worth it.  After being up until 4:30am with sick and crying kids, what mother wouldn't love a substitute mother to take over and get everyone up and off to school in the morning so she could recover?

There would be a clear definition of the goals.  In sports you work to score more points (less in golf) than your opponent.  But sometimes in life we work and work only to find out that we were working toward the wrong goal.  We thought we were headed in the right direction, but somewhere along the line we got lost.

There are also clearly defined rules.  Every sport has its rules and a governing body to set and enforce those rules.  Life can be vague.  Moral dilemmas occur in which we're just not sure what the proper choice is.

You always know who your opponent is.  In football or basketball, you know who not to throw the ball to -- their clothes are a different color than yours.  You know that they are working against your better interests.  Unfortunately, life isn't always so clear about this.  Sometimes you spend a long time relying on and trusting another person only to have them turn on you and stab you in the back when it's to their advantage.

Conversely, you have a team, you know who they are, and you are working toward the same goal.  When you are in heavy coverage, you can pass to someone else.  Sometimes in life we don't have a very strong team.  Or we aren't all playing the same game.

In sports you have a coach.  You have someone who is more experienced who can teach you and guide you.  Someone who can tell you what you're doing wrong and how to fix it.  And who can direct others to help you.

You have fans.  There are people watching who are hoping you do well.  They are cheering for you.  They share your disappointment when things don't go well.

Okay, it's a loose comparison.  And I know you are going to say that some of these things are available in life if we'd only take advantage of them.  A spouse, friend, grandparent = a sub.  The law, police officers, judges, God = rules and a governing body.  A mentor, a parent, a grandparent, God = a coach.  Your interpretation will vary depending on your personal feelings and beliefs. 

So if these things are available, do we take advantage of them?  Would your life be better if you thought of it as a sport and looked for these elements and opportunities?

I imagine it would.  I don't think it would solve everything, but perception is important and every little bit helps.

What I want is my own personal commentator; and every time I accomplish something difficult I want him to shout, "GOOOOOOOOOOOAL!"

Gentlemen, . . . Start . . . Your . . . ENGINES!

An ode to NASCAR.

No, not really.  I'm not sure I even know what an ode really is.

And I'm not going to write about why I like NASCAR or why you should.  But I do and you should.

I am going to write about what I learned in regards to human nature in my NASCAR conversion process.

I grew up playing sports:  softball, basketball, football, volleyball.  I tried a few others, but these were my staples.  I played them year after year as a tween and as a teen.

I also grew up watching sports.  This was a slightly wider range, all of the above plus golf and bull riding.

I like sports.

Then I got married.  He wasn't into sports -- except racing.  (You may have noticed that racing was not on my list.)  And I remember, as clearly as if it were yesterday, saying, "Racing isn't even a real sport.  All they do is drive around in circles."

For years I griped and moaned whenever he wanted to watch a race.  I mocked and belittled.  I saw racing and anyone who watched it as trailer trash.

And then one day, a little over ten years ago, I decided to try to understand what he liked about it.  Or at least fake it in an effort to bond with my husband.  I missed watching sports with someone on Sunday afternoons.

And guess what.  There is more to it than I thought.  I am a fan.  I have a driver (Tony Stewart, #14, Office Depot).  My NASCAR podcast (Rowdy) is my favorite one to listen to, the one I won't miss.  And we, as a family, had a NASCAR competition all season long (Sam won).

But what I learned, and have since been able to observe a lot in others, is that some of us tend to mock things that we don't understand.  We feel like we have to have an opinion, and since we haven't been converted then it must be stupid.

I've caught myself doing it many times since about other things.  Once I catch myself I try to understand why.  I try to learn more.  And usually I find that, just like with racing, there is more to it than I'm seeing.

The list of things I've judged prematurely is way too long.  Facebook.  Blogging.  Wrestling.  Therapy.  And people. 

That last one is the one I'm most ashamed of.  I have so often judged people too quickly.  Because they are a little out of the norm, different from me, or challenging to understand in some other way I have written them off as less than.  This is way more serious than mocking a sport.  And very hard to change.

But I'm trying.  Because it's worth it.  Just like with racing, when I've taken the time to understand it has paid off.  It has broadened my thinking as well as my circle of friends.

And if there's one thing I always need, it's a bigger circle.

*****
And congratulations to Jimmie Johnson for winning four championships in a row.  Amazing!