Smartly Essay - Sex

My essay on sex, slightly rewritten, is up over at Smartly.  If you haven't read it, you should.  Everyone should.  It's a statement about sex that I would love to spread to as many people as possible.  Especially young people.

Sex. Yes, Really.

Last week I posted an entry with Getting Intimate in the title.  Yes, it was a tease.  It lured some in with the belief that it would be about sex.  Of course, it wasn't.  And if you think sex is the only way to be intimate, you are really missing out.

But one of my friends called me out as a tease.  So I said that I would write a blog about sex.  Yes, it was kind of a rebellious, I can be bad, comment to him.  But I said I'd do it -- so here goes.

Now let me say that I have given this a lot of thought.  I have some teen readers.  I have some single readers who are more nervous reading this than the teens.  I pondered how and what I would write.  I don't want to offend anyone, but I also don't want to pull any punches because of my audience.

This will not be R rated.  But if you are under 18 and your parent or guardian would not be okay with you reading this, then it is your responsibility to respect that.  I will write this in the same way that I would address it with my kids.  However, I am more direct with my kids than most parents are, so I can't promise that you won't blush.

I could write salaciously, he touched her here and she felt this way.  But I won't.  Not only is that very much not my style, it's not how I feel about sex.  I want to write about sex as I see it.

Just the word makes many people uncomfortable.  It makes people giggle.  *nudge, nudge, wink, wink*  If you are one of those people, get it out of your system now.

Sex is not something base.  It is not ugly.  It is not bad.  It is not dirty.  It is important.  And not just for procreation.

Sexuality is a vital part of human nature; it's part of who we are.  Who we are meant to be.  And it is an important part of a couple's relationship.

Sex is not something you owe someone.  Not anyone.  Not ever.  Not when you are dating.  Not when you are a couple.  Not when you are married.  Not because they spent a lot of money on you.  Not because it's the next step.  Not because it's your job as a spouse.  Not because it's what they want. 

Sex is giving yourself to another person.  If it is taken from you or you give it unwillingly it will affect you negatively; I believe it will injure your soul.  It's more than physical.  It's more than mechanical.  It's psychological.  It's spiritual.  It's a part of you. 

Sex should never be demanded.  It should never be coerced through force, manipulation, or guilt.  Persuasion, maybe sometimes.  Coercion, never.

Sex can be an incredible thing.  It is the ultimate physical bonding, becoming one.  When two people choose to be intimate in this way, it can be a spiritual experience.  It is powerful.

But like all power, it must be used wisely or it can be dangerous.  It must be respected.  Because it is a part of you.

And you are worth it.