Saturday, October 9, 2010

Where's My Duct Tape?

Often, when people ask me how I am, I reply that I am holding on -- with both hands and a roll of duct tape.

I misplaced my duct tape.

I say this because my life slipped out of my hands a bit recently.  I was stuck doing triage.  Hitting those life or death things, but missing the details.

I kept the electricity on.  We had food in the house.  My kids went to school.

But I fell down on some things, too. 

I have been sleeping too little at night and too much during the day.  I haven't been eating much.  I stayed home almost all the time, usually not getting dressed for the day until my kids were about to get home from school.  Or after they did and I had to take them somewhere.

Basically, I quit doing things for me.  I spent so much time trying to put out fires that I forgot to make sure my firesuit was secure.  And I got a little burnt.

Once I find myself there, it's tricky to get out.  It's a steep climb without any gear.  Because I left all my gear on the ledge I fell off of.

But it's still there.  I know where it is this time.  I have some spotters who will help keep me from plummeting to my death.  I've made the climb before.

And I've finally figured out what the duct tape is.  It's self-care.  I've got several rolls stashed in various areas of my life.

Now if I can just remember what I'm looking for when I walk into the room that has it.  Then I'll be all set.