I am here to admit that I just do not understand celebrating.
The first time I went to therapy, my therapist told me to celebrate the good work I'd done. I was absolutely clueless.
Since that day, I've pondered the idea of celebrating. Is it really important? Am I the only person in the world who just doesn't get it?
I don't really have any answers.
Planning celebrations is tough for me. I guess in my head a celebration is meant to be a happy time. A time when there is so much joy that it must come out. And my moods and health are so variable that I just can't predict that I'll feel that way when the time comes.
No matter how wonderful the event. No matter how much I love the person/people involved. Sometimes I am just not in a celebratory mood. I can't just turn it on and off like others seem to be able to.
But I have found my own kind of celebration. I don't necessarily celebrate like others do. On the big holidays. With a trip or a party. Those days are usually more quiet celebrations if I have anything to say about it.
I celebrate moments. If I have the chance to be with a good friend, I rejoice and revel in the moment. If it has been a really great day, I am elated. I celebrate little things.
The big things are too pre-programmed for my taste. Too packaged. Too mundane. Too everyone-else-does-this. They can be fun enough but they don't touch my soul.
A text from a friend to check on me because he knows I've been having a tough time. Hearing that one of my friends had something wonderful happen in her life. Seeing my children do well at something and be truly proud of themselves. These are the moments I celebrate.
I've been known to decide to celebrate out of the blue.
Let's go get ice cream. Why? Because I'm happy today and I adore you guys.
Let's spend an entire day on an Alice in Wonderland marathon. Why? Because we are such good friends and I am so happy about it. I want to do something with you that I couldn't really do with anyone else.
Let's spend the whole day in our pajamas. Why? Because it's the first day we have had no commitments. Because the entire day is ours.
I celebrate the moments. In unusual ways. Because that's where I find joy.