Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Dressing for my Moods

It seems like my mood determines my life.  Like it is something out of my control that pushes all the buttons.  Like my moods are the man behind the curtain.

I do not believe that my moods are in charge.  I believe I have the power to change them, to subdue them.  Sometimes.

My moods are like an ever changing beast.  A metamorph that can change into any shape at will.  And can do so instantly.

And when there is a beast in your life your options are limited.  Fight it.  Find a middle ground.  Be devoured.  I vacillate among these three.

One of the ways this is evident in my life is in the way I dress.

When I am feeling strong I can fight.  I am willing to spend extra energy to win the battle.  I go the extra mile.  I shower.  I do my hair.  And I pick clothes that make me feel like I can tackle the world.  Usually it helps.  Sometimes the beast and I both know I'm fooling myself and it's not long before I'm craving my pajama pants.

On those days when I'm willing to compromise with the beast, things are a little different.  I don't shower, but I do brush my teeth.  I don't curl my hair, but I do brush it.  I don't dress up, but I do get dressed.

Then there are the devour days.  The days when I'm just out of bed long enough to give someone a ride or go to the bathroom.  No effort at hygiene.  I don't change out of whatever I fell asleep in.  And because I look so horrible, I avoid people as if I were contagious.

But a funny thing can happen on those devour days.  There's power in staying in my pajamas or my worn out flannel shirt.  The power that says the beast may be setting the agenda, but I still choose the wardrobe.  And I choose to wrap myself in comfort.  I choose clothes that serve as a hug for myself.

And that little bit of defiance keeps the beast from swallowing me.  Until I can claw my way out of its gullet and back out into the sunshine.



Oh.....P.J. pants are MY FAVORITE in case You didn't know. ;)

Thanks, Robin.

Kazzy said...

I own two pair of pjs. Don't really like 'em for some reason. Does that say something about me.

On the days when you are gullet-freed I think you look fabulous (like at the meeting at Sutterfields' the other night). On the other days, I obviously don't see you.

Getting dressed, in whatever, is kind of magical that way. It is like being a prop or stage designer.

Running Circles said...

Been there, done that, and still do it but trying to be better. I've never thought of my 'comfy clothes' as a hug, but maybe I should. It's more like less energy expended and definitely less effort.

MaggieJo said...

amen, amen and amen! 'nuff said

Just Another Person said...

yup, I know how that is. Especially about taking a shower and brushing your teeths. I'm a guy so I dress pretty easy and quick so dressing up isn't too hard for me. But those two things can be definitely hard somedays. When those days come, I try to force myself to do those things. Like one thing at a time. Standing up from the bed is usually the toughest move. After that I support my body weight with whatever there is. Lean on something. Then reach the bathroom, brush my teeths take a shower. I do feel better, after I take care of my hygine. It makes the moment tolerable, and sometimes it might even trigger for me to have a good mood day. Like you said, you can't predict how your mood is going to be. So I try really hard to stay on top of things and who knows??? My mood might get better any minutes if I do those things....

Anonymous said...

I wish I could say that I had the power to control my moods. Now that would be empowering. Alas, these days they control me more than I would like. But you are RIGHT, the clothes I wear helps. It sets the tone for the day...helps me get through. Comfortable or sassy, it can make all the difference.

Day said...

Isn't it funny how clothes work? It's almost like, some days, they can jar you into a more competent identity for awhile until you're able to make it.

Bonnie said...

I remember going to a meeting once in which the speaker, who was a religious leader with many responsibilities, made the comment that we humans are strange creatures who live existentially, allowing things outside of our control to control us. It struck me, though I didn't know what to do with it. Now I was responsible to somehow avoid bi-polar? Yikes. Too much. But I think about it, and I like to believe that I live a little bit less existentially every day.

On the pajamas topic, I personally can't stand them. But I've been known to just keep on spraying hair spray on my hair day after day when I choose not to wash it in the shower. Don't tell.

DaisyGal said...

I like how the "comfy clothes" can be a hug to yourself, I like that way that sounds.

Plus I think that all of us have those days, where the sheer effort of getting a shower, or even brushing our hair is a useless waste of time.

thanks for sharing those moods with us.