Friday, September 24, 2010

Why the Cue Ball is So Sexy

Cue Ball.  Chrome Dome.  Mr. Clean.  Whatever you call him, if he's bald then he's sexy.

I am ready to declare publicly my affinity for bald men.

I have found bald men sexy ever since high school.  Today I tried to figure out why.  I analyzed it and found out some surprising things about myself.

I reject the idea that I like bald men because my dad is bald.  Trust me, I have daddy issues but this isn't one of them.  Sorry, Freud, no Oedipal complex here.

I do like older men.  Even in high school I was attracted to older men.  Not a few years older, 15-20 years older.  I liked the idea of someone wise.  Someone above the need to impress.  And, yes, someone who could protect me (the feminist part of me gives way to the injured little girl part in this instance).  So maybe this is part of it.  Bald usually means older.

But there's more to it.  Especially now that shaving their heads is more common among men of every age.  It's a hairstyle choice.  Now I see thirty-year olds with bald heads.  That's younger than me.  Do I find them sexy?  Why, yes I do.

So it's more than age.

It's confidence.  Men who are going bald naturally and embrace it rather than fight it with the dreaded comb-over, hairpiece, or plugs.  Men who know that they are not defined by their hair, something so arbitrary.  Men who roll with what life hands them.  That is sexy.

There's also an element of honesty.  This is who I am.  Honesty is sexy.

And then there's the elusive element.  Why do we like anything?  Just because we do.  Sometimes there's not a logical reason behind it.  A certain smell or taste pleases me just because it does.  I find bald men sexy just because I do.

You can keep your Hugh Jackman and Brad Pitt types.  I'll take Sean Connery, Patrick Stewart, and Anthony Edwards.  Men who are confident in who they are and wear it well.  I love bald men.

Now, Johnny Depp is a rare exception; him I'll take.  Sometimes attraction just doesn't fit the rules.


Jessica Grosland said...

I reject your implied premise that Hugh Jackman isn't sexy, and I smack your hand for your blasphemy.

As for the rest of the post, I have no problems with it. I still think you're weird, but who doesn't love Patrick Stewart?

Cheryl D. said...

Johnny Depp is just sexy! I used to find bald men really unattractive. But after shaving their head became so popular, I like bald men a lot better. The shaved head look just rocks!

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

HOORAY FOR KOJAK! My husband is bald and beautiful. Don't get any ideas. I can win any cat fight, be-yotch!

Anonymous said...

I'm a fan of bald. :) Not sure why, but you pinpoint really good reasons. Bald is a definite gesture of confidence.

MaggieJo said...

What can I say? I'm a hair girl.

Just Another Person said...

oh my god. My wife is crazy about Johnny Depp.

Kazzy said...

I guess one reason bald can be sexy is because the facial features are more obvious.

mjrodriguez said...

can't say I share your sentiments with bald guys. some are hot, some are not.

been following you for awhile now so what I can say is that I really dig your odd ball writing so much - I'm giving you this award -

Yarell said...

It's good to know that if i go bald someone somewhere will find me sexy.

Ronnica said...

I'm not a huge fan of bald men, but I don't dislike them either. But you're right, it's certainly sexier than a comb-over!

Luann said...

I don't mind bald, but I'm not particularly drawn to it either. I think you hit the nail right on it's hairless head for me when you say honesty is sexy. One of the least attractive things I've seen on a man is a desperate comb-over. Blech!

Elissa said...

My Hubs is a baldy and very sexy. I too have always had a thing for the dome. Ed Harris and Jason Statham. Yummy

NatNat&Jack said...

Oh my my I for one love older guys. Went for em all the time in high school. Bald guys are just sexy, I see a few at work and I do glance I don't know what it is, confidence is a good way to put it...don't get me started on mr sexy as ever can be johnny delicious Depp!!!!!