Friday, October 18, 2013

Rerun: Energy Vampires and Soul Suckers

It's time for a new post, but I'm just not up to it.  Still hurting a lot.  Still finding my way.

So here's another rerun.  It's from January 2010.  I hope you like it.


Energy Vampires and Soul Suckers

Have you ever noticed that there are some people in life who are just draining?  Any interaction with them will leave you feeling depleted.  With some people it takes a long conversation full of their needs and ignoring yours before it hits.  With others, it's as soon as they enter the room.  As soon as you see them -- whoosh!  Energy drain.  It's almost like you can feel the life leaving your body.

Sometimes a person is truly in crisis.  They need to talk and if you can listen and give of yourself, they will get better.  It's a momentary crisis.  And they give back when it's you who are struggling.  They listen.  They give.  This doesn't seem to be so draining.  Partly because they refill you when you need it and partly because you are giving willingly.

But other people just take.  They corner you and utilize you.  They barrage you and then leave you in a crumpled heap.  You are glad it's over, but you know they'll be back.

Giving of yourself is charitable.  It's the Christlike thing to do.  I can hear the arguments.  And you're right; it is.  But what about the cost to you?

I think of Little Shop of Horrors.  Seymour tries to appease Audrey II with his own blood.  He soon discovers that he can't satisfy Audrey II's appetite.  And think of the Skeksis from The Dark Crystal.  They drain the Gelflings to fill themselves.  In both cases, it is all about meeting their needs and they are indifferent to their food source.

Some people are like this.  They have a hunger that cannot be satiated.  You can give and give, and when you are lying dead on the floor they will move on to someone else because they are still hungry.

I don't know about you, but I am still trying to figure out how to protect myself from energy vampires and soul suckers.  I believe that it is an important skill to learn.  As sovereign beings, we are responsible to set our boundaries to protect ourselves.

And luckily, not everyone we interact with is a soul sucker.

There are others, people who give.  Sometimes it's a two-hour conversation with both of you crying.  Other times it's a smile from across the room when you really need it.  These people are soul healers.  These people are well fillers.

I want to be like them.  But I'm a beginner.  I still vacillate between the two.  Sometimes I drain.  Sometimes I give.

But someday I want to be like those rare gems who are true healers.  These people can fill you up even when they are in crisis.  They receive more by giving.  Somehow, they have learned to protect themselves and still give away as much as is needed.

These people are the angels who walk among us.  And most of them don't even realize it.


Bonnie said...

What a beautiful piece! I too have met people of both types. I too want to be like the healers. I wish there were something I could do to fill your well during this time of pain, but my prayers are daily with you. Love you so much.

The Dose of Reality said...

I think avoiding the soul suckers is a skill. You put it perfectly. It's up to us to set our boundaries and respect ourselves enough to honor them. Great post! I'm so glad you reran it because I missed it the first time! :) --Lisa

Anonymous said...

Specifically, the drainers. I recently had to cut out many who were just draining way too much of my positive energy. It's such a shame when people are programmed that way.

Kate | Diaries of a Essex Girl

Savvy WorkingGal said...

I am going to make it my goal to seek out more healers. The problem is the soul suckers take so much from us we don't have room for the healers.

Shauna @ Momma Candy said...

Sometimes you don't even know your soul is being sucked until you've called a Soul Sucker to talk to them about something and you spend the next two hours talking about them and their problems until they conveniently have to go.

There are givers and there are takers in every relationship. The key is balance. If you can't find it in a relationship, it's doomed.

Linda Malcolm said...

Yes, it's up to us to protect ourselves, and it's so hard to say "no" -- particularly if you have a face that says, "Hello, I'll listen!" Good to learn to set boundaries -- and in our house, good thing to learn AND to teach our kids. Visiting from SITS!

Jennice Powell said...

I like this post. I never really thought about whether or not I was a soul sucker. Thank you for giving me something to think about. #SITSsharefest

Sheila Skillingstead said...

Great post. I often feel like this when teaching. There is so much need out there especially with teenagers. I spend time every day when I could be doing other things helping students sort through their problems and making sure they get the help they need. It is one of the reasons I won't regret retiring in June. I love to help but at what cost? Thanks for the reminder and taking the time to find this great post.

Khloé Belle Gadson said...

It's tough to learn to find that balance but that it's something that needs to be done...!! We are the only ones that can protect ourselves therefore we must teach ourselves to be like those people you call "angels"

Visiting from #SITSSHAREFEST

Keep it Touched,

Andrea Millard said...

So happy to be visiting you from SITS Sharefest! I love this post - so true that there are people who never realize they go through live draining others of energy, finances, and even sanity... I've strived to always be a "well filler", and am just now finding a balance so that I don't give endlessly and for nothing.