Sunday, November 7, 2010

Letter to a Friend

Activity 1:  Write a letter to a friend as if she is sitting beside you.  How is this writing different from your blog posts?

This prompt immediately brought to mind an incident from high school.  A time when my life was in flux and I chose to exclude a friend.  I did not get the chance to resolve it then; I would like to address it now.

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Dear Carol,

What would I say to you if you were here now?  I have regretted my decision for so long, but I don't know if I could find the words.  I don't know if I could even speak.  I think I would have difficulty looking at you because of my shame.

The guilt of our decision, our pact, was weighing heavily on me.  I couldn't keep silent any longer.  I couldn't keep lying.  I knew I needed to tell the truth.

But I should have talked to you before I did so.  Instead, I hung you out to dry.

Why didn't I talk to you first?  I'm not sure.  I think maybe I was afraid.  I was afraid you would get angry with me.  I was afraid you would disagree and talk me out of it.  I was afraid I was too weak to stand up to you.

And I was selfish.  I was more worried about clearing my conscience than protecting my friend.

I don't know how we lost each other so quickly.  One minute we were inseperable.  The next minute you were gone.

I have searched for you.  I have watched for you.  I think of you often, and my heart is filled with regret.

I may never see you again.  I may never have the opportunity to make things right.

But if you were here now, I would tell you that I am so very, very sorry.

Love still,
Robin

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6 Comments:

Blogger Kazzy said...

This makes me sad, but I think there are plenty of old moments I would like to make right too.

November 7, 2010 at 10:47 AM  
Blogger Grandma Nina said...

I think every one of us would have reason to write a similar letter.

November 7, 2010 at 2:52 PM  
Blogger BlackEyedDog said...

sometimes it's really sad how quickly people you once knew very well can become strangers...I've been through something similar more than once in my life already.

xoxo

November 8, 2010 at 1:34 AM  
Blogger Helena said...

This is so powerful. I hope she read it someday.

November 8, 2010 at 10:46 AM  
Blogger Just Another Person said...

it's great that you got this chance to write your feeling out. Hopefully it took away some of your guilt feeling. Teenager is such an awkward and confused age. I'm sure she will forgive you now.

November 9, 2010 at 1:56 AM  
Anonymous Lynsey said...

This is so sad, probably for both of you. I hope she gets to read this.

I agree, too, that everyone has probably been through a similar situation in their life.

November 9, 2010 at 10:45 AM  

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