Friday, October 15, 2010

I'm Not Who You Think I Am

I spent most of my life letting others define me.  They told me what to be and that's what I became.  Or they told me what I was and I believed them.

I was so many different people, depending on who I was with.

And this was such a part of my life that I really had no idea who I was.  And sometimes I still slip up.  Sometimes I still believe what others think of me.  Or I know it's not true but it still makes me question myself.

It's so easy to look to others for our value.  It's easier to believe what others tell us about ourselves than to decide on our own.

Some people like me.  They think I'm kind.  They think I'm honest.  They think I am strong and dedicated.

Others aren't so fond of me.  They think I'm a snob.  They think I'm selfish.  They think I'm judgemental.

Still others claim to like me but constantly tell me what is wrong with me, how I don't measure up.

I'm an angel.  I'm a witch.  I'm self-centered.  I'm compassionate.

All, some, or none of those things may be true.  There is probably someone out there to vote for each trait, who would assign it to me.

But no matter how others perceive me, no matter who they say I am, I know what is in my heart.

I am a person.  A small person in a big world.  A person with a purpose who is just trying her best.

I am okay with that.  And that's all that really matters.

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Blogger Kazzy said...

Well, remember, you have had therapy, where you have learned to be real about yourself. Many of us are just fumbling along trying to figure ourselves out, and often that comes from weighing ourselves against others that we have relationships with.

What gets me uptight is realizing that many people have ideas of who I am, but I am not even sure myself, most of the time. All I know is that I am a spiritual being having an earthly experience.

October 15, 2010 at 9:47 AM  
Blogger Cheryl D. said...

Really insightful post, and probably true for a lot of us!

October 15, 2010 at 9:48 AM  
Blogger From Tracie said...

It is so important to be able to strongly define yourself and not allow other people's labels to attach to you. I'm not always good at that.

October 15, 2010 at 4:40 PM  
Blogger Hope Despite Depression said...

So very true - I have let people label me my whole life.... in fact I was just discussing this with my therapist the other day! I hear a label and then I accept it without thinking twice.

It's about self-esteem and letting go what others think - it's not easy - but it can be done - and once that happens it's a great feeling!

Great post!

October 15, 2010 at 7:59 PM  
OpenID Margaret Almon said...

I am relearning that no one has been given more authority to label me than myself! And that I can coexist with what others might be thinking of me, because that's about them, not about me.

October 16, 2010 at 1:10 PM  
Blogger Kristen said...

It's such a hard thing sometimes not being a certain type of person so that we fit in, so that we belong. Over the last few years, I have come to realize, that I'm different than the norm and that's okay. I really don't have things in common with that group that I wanted to belong in. It's okay to not always fit in and belong, because that's not me. I too sometimes forget that and feel sorry for myself because of this and then I just remind myself that I'm me and everybody can take it or leave it!

October 16, 2010 at 2:44 PM  
Blogger Running Circles said...

I hope to feel this way one day and I am very glad to hear that you already do.

October 16, 2010 at 5:48 PM  
Blogger Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

I love this Robin. I think it's amazing that you can see yourself and know the truth. I get sucked into believing the awful things about myself that I hear other people say, because I guess I've become conditioned to believe that if I believe the GOOD things people say about me, that makes me conceited and full of myself. But I guess it's okay to believe the BAD things?!?! I dont' get the logic. Still, I can't escape it either!

October 16, 2010 at 10:35 PM  
Blogger Jen Currier said...

Ah, I think you just voiced a pretty universal truth...we are prone to letting others define us. I also became aware of a similar pattern in my life and worked to change it. I'm still a work in progress....but, it certainly is interesting how the twist and turns that life has given me lately will continue to test that and remind me that only I am accountable for who i really am. How others see me is up to them.
Hiya from SITS!

October 18, 2010 at 12:34 AM  
Anonymous Grace said...

"All the world's a stage," remember? And we're the players, all playing a different role at different times along the way.

It took me a long time to figure out that they're just roles -- mom, wife, daughter, sister, etc. -- and that they don't define me any more than people's opinions define me.

Hang in there! Be who you are!

October 18, 2010 at 7:18 AM  
Blogger Just Another Person said...

yup. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself. Because they haven't spent time with you as much as you did yourself. So you know what you have been through. Don't let other people's opinion steer you in different direction too much. I'm saying this to myself too because I get confused often times too.

October 18, 2010 at 10:04 PM  
Blogger Anastasia said...

I know its not easy, but don't let others get you down.

October 22, 2010 at 12:11 AM  
Blogger Scraps said...

Good for you! Knowing who you are, despite society's influences, is such an important lesson.

Stopped by as part of the SITS Saturday Sharefest and this is a great intro to you and your blog :)

October 23, 2010 at 9:21 AM  
Blogger Kristy said...

I get better at this as I get older. I definitely didn't know myself as much as I needed to in my 20's! And not everyone is always going to like you. Not your problem. Great post! Here from SITS!

October 23, 2010 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger Grandma Nina said...

The best part about getting older is finding and loving your authentic self. I am slowly trying to get there and feel so much better about myself, happier with me, content. When I have flashbacks or even dreams of my younger very non-authentic self I don't like me then at all. I may offend more people now, or even lose some so-called friends, but I am much happier with me.

October 23, 2010 at 9:52 AM  
Blogger parentingBYdummies said...

People don't like me because I'm pretty. Totally kidding. I hate it when people say that. People don't like you because you say you're so pretty it makes people not like you. When you're as pretty as me, you don't have to go around saying it, you know?! Kidding. Again. Because that's what I do. I know your post was serious and definitional and stuff, but I thought you would enjoy a lighter response. Your about me section led me to believe you'd be okay with that. Anyone with 5 kids has go to have a sense of humor!

October 25, 2010 at 4:54 AM  
Anonymous dawn said...

Stopping by from SITS...

I think you have yourself confused with me cuz... let me tell you!
You described my life perfectly.
I feel better now... I'm not the only screwed-up-psycho-witchy-mean mom on the planet.
Whew! That's a relief!
I'll keep being me, and you keep being you and that's really all anyone can expect from us...

October 25, 2010 at 11:58 PM  

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