Poppycock! Seriously, I'm calling a big baloney on this one.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this is a girl truism. We women think this is true. We tell other women it's true. We all want to have that kind of friend. We all feel pressure to be that kind of friend.
Well, let me tell you right now, I don't believe this kind of friend exists. I don't believe this person exists. And if she does, she is very unhealthy emotionally.
Let's talk about a real friend. Let's call her Jane. Jane is a great friend. She loves you and supports you. She listens to you when you are struggling. She calls you on it when you are avoiding things out of fear. She loves you even after you yell at her when you're having a bad day. She is a great friend.
But Jane has crises in her life, too. Jane sometimes leaves town. Jane sometimes gets sick. Jane sometimes gets angry with you and doesn't want to talk to you. Jane sometimes has emotional breakdowns and has nothing left for you.
When you've had a fight with your husband and think your world is ending, Jane may be dealing with the loss of her dear mother. She just can't comfort you right now.
Sometimes Jane just isn't there for you.
Why? If Jane is a true friend, why won't she put everything in her life aside to make you feel better?
Because she is a person, too. And she's not in charge of making you happy -- you are. She is in charge of making herself happy and taking care of her emotional needs.
That's why we all need a support system. Not just a best friend.
As part of self-care, it's your responsibility to build a support system for yourself. No one is going to do it for you. People aren't just going to fall into your life and become important to you and supportive of you without any effort on your part. You have to reach out. You have to open up. You have to risk rejection and find those people. And it will probably take many of them to get you through this life. Because life is tough and we need others.
No one should be the ONLY person in the world who understands you and can help you through. That's just not a kind position to put someone in. It's unrealistic and it's selfish. Even if it's your spouse.
Reach out. Make friends. Find support. Let your friends be real people.
And if you're Jane, quit trying to be everyone's saving grace and just be Jane. A good friend who helps and supports when it's healthy to do so.