Last week I wrote about how much I've been hurting, that I was going to see the doctor, and that I was afraid I'd need surgery or they'd find nothing wrong and I'd get no answers.
Well, I did get an answer and I do need surgery.
I have uterine prolapse. Prolapse means to fall out of place. Basically, my uterus is falling out.
Take a minute to wrap your brain around that. An internal part of my body is no longer where it's supposed to be and is on a path that will eventually take it outside of me. Yeah, kind of funny and creepy at the same time.
And I'm having difficulty thinking about anything else.
I meet with the surgeon on April 23. We'll discuss my options then. But, of course, I've already researched it a ton online.
It used to be that the standard answer to this problem was a hysterectomy. Now there is an option for reparative surgery, much like a hernia repair. There are pros and cons to both options and several types of hysterectomies possible. My brain is swimming with possibilities and trying to anticipate the negatives of every choice possible.
But I can't decide anything until I get more specifics on my case when I meet with the surgeon. In six and a half weeks. Doesn't that seem like a long time?
It does to me, too. But that was his first opening for a consult and I've heard good things about him and my life doesn't facilitate surgery any time in the next month anyway, so I'm sticking with that plan.
But I have to find a way to pay attention to other things.
Okay, so I only found out four days ago. I guess it's okay to take some time to adjust. At least I've noticed that I'm not attending to anything else. Maybe that's the first step.
So tomorrow I'll start making a list of the things I think of that I need to pay attention to. And I'll try to pay attention to at least one thing a day that doesn't involve my uterus. But I think it's unrealistic to expect that I can just move on with life and forget about it.
Because it still hurts. And it's not where it's supposed to be. And that kind of freaks me out.