Saturday, November 2, 2013

Today There is Sunshine!

Actually, right this very minute there is sunshine.  It's 12:30am and completely dark outside, but there is sunshine in my heart.  There are colors in my soul.  I look around and see so much that makes me happy.

Yesterday, on Halloween of all days, my depression finally broke.  I made my bed for the first time in over a month.  And I was happy.

Oh, it's been a long spell.  While it hasn't been my most gut-wrenching or life threatening depression, it sure was an ugly one.  Month after month of darkness.  It had me pinned by the throat; I felt like it would never let go.

Nothing I tried helped.  Nothing anyone tried helped.  My friends and family worried.  I even worried a bit, as much as a person can when depressed.

Nothing brought me happiness.  Everything was heavy.  Everything was a chore.  I barely existed.

And just like that it went away.  It was like I woke up from a bad dream.  A bad, black-and-white dream.  And there are colors again.  Kind of like landing in OZ.

There is so much going on.  I have lots more to write.  But that will have to wait.

I just want to focus on this moment and this feeling.  I am happy.  And it's magical!


Karen Main said...

So wonderful to hear. Enjoy happy and the magic it brings.
Happy Sharefest

Corlie said...

I hope there will be many more moments of sunshine for you to come, the intensity of experiencing your moment of sunshine really comes through in your post.
Thanks for sharing.

Savvy WorkingGal said...

I'm happy for you Robin. You writing once again is fabulous. You write with such emotion. I can feel your sunshine.

Barbara Coleman said...

I loved your honest (and hopeful) post! I try every day to do something constructive in my pursuit of happiness. Weather it's thinking or doing, it doesn't matter.

Julie Jordan Scott said...

Wow. I can completely relate to this. Yesterday I fought with myself until I was sitting in my therapist's office. I don't want to go, I should go, wait, do I need to go, I missed last time I must go and on and on and on.

This is a huge celebratory post. So glad I am here for SITSSharefest so I could come visit, hug, and happy high five you!! :~)

Mama's High Strung said...

This is beautiful! Newest follower from #SITSSharefest! Looking forward to your posts… Following you everywhere.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad that there is sunshine for you now!

Visiting from #SITSShareFest

Khloé Belle Gadson said...

Cyber hugs to you!
Glad you've made it our of the depression!!!

Visiting from #SITSSHAREFEST

Keep it Touched,

Bonnie said...

We know it's the hand of God when, after all the silent, lonely working through that even we can't seem to touch is over, we come out on the other side. Oh the goodness of our God! I am so glad for you, my friend!

Susan Cook said...

Stopping by from #SITSSharefest

glad you have sunshine on you now :)

Katy said...

I am so, so glad!!!

Herchel S said...

I'm glad you are happy again. Depression is hard and ugly. Thoughts and prayers with you, girl!

The Dose of Reality said...

That is great news Robin! :) Hope you continue to feel good!-Ashley

Sheila Skillingstead said...

Glad to read about your body filled sunshine. Halloween can be that kind of day. I wore my fairy godmother hat to school and had a great day. Enjoy the light whenever it comes.

Michelle @ Life on the Horizon said...

Depression is such a dark place, even when the sun is shining. I'm so glad that the light is shining now! Hugs to you!