I've been trying to help my mom (read more here). But I can't anymore.
She wanted anti-anxiety meds.
Her psychiatrist didn't want her to have them and wouldn't prescribe them (I agree with his reasons).
She went to another doctor and asked him.
He saw the psychiatrist's note in her file and said he couldn't give them to her.
She went to a nurse practitioner.
The nurse practitioner gave them to her.
After my mom got them, she offered me one.
And she thinks the system is out to get her and no one wants to help her.
And I just can't do this anymore. So today I sent her the following text, because via text is the only way she hears what I say:
I am sorry, mom. I love you. But I can't help with this stuff anymore. I think the way you are doctor shopping and not following your doctors' and therapists' instructions is dangerous to you. I can't keep helping it happen. I know you disagree with me. I am sorry if this hurts you. I will let dad know that I am taking myself out of the picture. I hope you find a way to feel better.
I also sent emails to her therapist and psychiatrist letting them know my decision and why.
Right choice or wrong choice, I know I hurt her.
I had a dream the other night. I was back in time about twenty years. My mom was there. She was happy and healthy. I am grateful for that dream. It reminded me who she used to be. That helped me act with love.
But I still feel like a horrible daughter.
It's just so sad.