Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The Delicate Threads

Life is a tapestry.  Every thread is important.

Last night I was asked a question I've thought about a lot.  If I could change one thing about my life, what would it be?

She may have meant to ask what I would change about my current life, but that's not how I answered it.  I answered about my past.

I've had a lot of difficult experiences in my past.  And I've done a lot of stupid things.  But when she asked what I'd change my answer was simple.  Nothing.

When I've thought about this before, in that way we do when we wish for the magical power of a do-over, the one thing that comes to mind first is the times I've hurt people.

*  The time I wrote that mean note.
*  The time I said that horribly mean thing because I thought I was being clever.
*  The time I broke a friend's heart.
*  The time I was selfish when someone needed me.
*  The time I said out of anger that I didn't love someone.
*  All of these thing multiplied numerous times and many others.

If I have any regrets in my life, it would be these.  But if I had the power to take them back, if I had a Jimmy Stewart/It's a Wonderful Life moment, would I?  No.  I wouldn't.

And this is why.  I like who I am.  I like who I am so much better than who I used to be.  And each of those moments affected me.  Each of them led to growth.  They helped me become me.  I would be terrified that pulling on even one of those threads would change the picture of my life.  Would change it into something less wonderful.

And I'm sure many of those moments changed the people I associated with.  They grew.  They learned, possibly just to be more kind than me.  It would be awfully selfish of me to mess with someone else's life like that so I could have fewer regrets.

The threads in my tapestry matter.  Every single one of them.  The picture might not be anything like what I expected, but it's exactly what I need it to be.


Catherine Gacad said...

You have the right attitude. Immediately, I would respond that I'd probably want to change something, but would have to think long and hard about what it would be. But the way you have explained it, makes so much sense. I'm also happy with who I am and realize that a change would affect everything that got me to where I am.

Christa aka The BabbyMama said...

That's a good perspective.

I just wish I didn't have those haunting moments where brain says "Why not ruminate on everything mean you've ever done?!" Always just before bed.

Melissa said...

I think the same exact way! My husband will always tell me, he hates the things I have went thru in life, but I say those things not only made me who I am today but led me to him and taught me how to appreciate him and life. I believe everything, even the little things happen for a reason. We may not ever find out that reason but there is a reason.

The Dose of Reality said...

I feel like this is just such a healthy attitude and so, so true. While there are certainly things I regret, learning those lessons has totally helped me grow and become the person I am. Even the really bad things. :) --Lisa

Bintu @ Recipes From A Pantry said...

I am way tooooooo embarrassed to think about all the things I would change in my past. Food for thought though.

Kerrie @ Family Food and Travel said...

Such an important post. It definitely got me thinking. There are so many thing I wish that I could change from my past. I try to tell myself that each one made me who I am today. But, like you I'd change the times I'd hurt people with my words or my actions. It so isn't who I am but sometimes, like everyone I do hurtful things.

Thank you for stopping by my blog today!

Alison said...

I'm with you on this. I believe in not living with regrets, difficult as it may be. And not wanting to change the threads that is our life, is a good way to do that.

The Lovely One said...

I completely agree with this. The events of your past make you the person you are today!

Sheila Skillingstead said...

I like your attitude. I never thought that not redoing your life would be the better path. It actually makes me feel better about my own life. I'm going to do some thinking about this today while doing some gardening. Thanks for the reflection. I haven't visited your site recently. Enjoy Sharefest.

Betty Manousos said...

i really like your perspective and totally agree with you on this.

let your past make you better, not bitter.

great write up!

p.s. thank you so much for leaving such a sweet comment on my blog. it is much appreciated:)

Melissa G. said...

I think that's a really healthy and positive attitude to have. Sometimes it's difficult to see the threads as part of the bigger picture.

Mothering From Scratch said...

{Melinda} God has used some of my biggest failures and mistakes to take me to the next level of relationship with Him. Like you, I wouldn't trade that for anything.

As usual, an amazing post by you, my friend. :)

OneMommy said...

I love that last sentence!

I have to agree, I've had things in my past that at one time I thought I would change if I could, but each and every one of those helped make me who I am. I've learned from them, and I've tried to teach my children from them. said...

So true.