2012 was the year of KINDNESS for me. It changed my life. It changed me. An entire year focused on one thing. Kindness. It was beautiful and glorious. And while I will carry kindness forward with me, I am ready to move on.
This coming year I want to SEE.
I tend to be task oriented. I get so focused on the task, the thing I am trying to accomplish, that I miss a lot. I want to see more.
I want to live in the first person, present tense. I want to be truly present in the events and moments of my life. I want to spend less time in the second person, worrying about what others do or should do. I want to spend less time in the third person, observing life happening around me. And I want to spend a lot less time in the past tense or future tense. I want to be here. Now.
Life is about moments. It's about people. It's about beauty. That's where the glory of life happens. But too often I miss it.
Instead of seeing the 360 degrees around me, I get stuck in tunnel vision. Instead of seeing the technicolor of life, it becomes a grayish blur in my peripheral vision because I can't take my eyes off what's in front of me.
I want to see the beauty of a moment. I want to rejoice longer as I watch my children enjoy each other's company. I want to mourn deeper with my friends who are struggling. I want to look more people in the eye and seek to understand. I want to see progress in myself and acknowledge it and be proud of it instead of focusing on all the things I still need to fix. I want to see purpose in the things I do by rote every day.
When I chose the word SEE to guide me in the next year, it felt so right. It makes complete sense in my mind and heart. It's about practicing mindfulness. It's about making moments mean more. It's about opening my heart wider.
I want to see with new eyes. I want to see divinely. I want to see as God sees.
I've had glimpses. I sense that there will be times when my heart is overwhelmed. I sense that I will cry more. I will admit that I am a little frightened to completely open my heart and feel fully. But I trust that this is the right next step.
And so, in faith I leap.