Friday, December 30, 2011

You Fell Out of the World

A while back I was listening as my son coached my daughter with a video game.  I heard a squeal of disappointment and he said, "You fell out of the world."

I'm not quite sure what the implications of this were for her; I'm not very familiar with the game.  But that phrase struck me.  And has stuck with me.

You see, sometimes I fall out of the world.

I am going along, doing my thing, and suddenly I am nowhere.  There is no earth beneath me.  I simply am.  But what I am is unclear.

I've been in this non-place lately.  Disconnected but somewhat present.  Visible but absent.  Unable to find what I've lost.

I have moments of normalcy.  My feet touch the ground and I run from here to there trying to get things done, knowing my time is temporary.  And then normal dissipates like a fog and I am undone again.

Time passes and yet the earth is still.  My mind races and yet I can't think.  I speak and do and yet there are no results.

I will find my footing again.  Gravity and I will renew our relationship.  The earth will be solid.  And I will be a part of all that exists.  I will exist.

For now I am simply waiting.