Friday, October 14, 2011

The Center of Attention

As a kid, I loved being the center of attention. Anything I could do to be in the spotlight, I did. Sing a song. Dance. Tell a joke. Do a cartwheel. Whatever.

Somewhere along the line, this desire waned. No longer did I enter a room loudly declaring my presence ("I'm here! The party can start now!"). I kind of stealthed in. Trying to find somewhere to sit or someone to talk to so that I didn't stand out. Trying not to be noticed.

How did this happen?

As children we come into this world with great energy and no fear. The world quickly puts a stop to that silly nonsense. Over time we learn that when we shine others sometimes try to squelch our glory. When we put ourselves out there in the public eye we open ourselves up to criticism and ridicule. We make our offering and it is sometimes rejected as inadequate. We learn that the cost of attention is sometimes too high -- it costs us a bit of our self-worth.

I no longer hide from the spotlight, but I usually don't seek it either.

So why do I blog?

I started blogging at a difficult time in my life, while I was in therapy. I found that writing things out helped clarify my thoughts and helped me process things. It helped me find truths I was hiding from myself. Writing works for me.

But choosing to publish my writings on a blog took a lot of pondering and soul searching. I just wasn't sure I wanted to put it all out there.

I tip-toed into blogging. I began writing without telling anyone. Then I told a couple of people. And I was surprised to find that others enjoyed my writing. Others found value and strength in the things I was learning and sharing. The things I wrote made people think and started conversations. To me, this increased the value of my writing.

Plus, it's fun to get nice comments.

My blogging has evolved. There are fewer therapy sessions but still plenty of philosophical ideas. There are more family stories. As I have moved through that painful time to a happier place, my blog has reflected this.

But I still don't use pictures.

Today is my day to shine. I am the featured blogger on SITS (a wonderful blogging community that teaches, supports, and connects bloggers). If you are visiting me for the first time, welcome. I hope you feel comfortable here. Check out my About the Author and About the Mess pages -- they have pictures!

I usually stink at replying to comments, but for this day only I promise that if you leave a comment I will reply and/or visit your blog in return.

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Blogger American in Norway said...

Wow this post really hit home today... I put myself & family out there doing an American TV show last summer... & am STILL feeling the afternmath... Before I clicked over here I was thinking to myself.. should I go & pull down all of the posts about the show... & just hope people will stop looking for my blog? Ugh.. still not sure.. but your post gave me somthing to think about! :-) Enjoy your day in the spotlight! xxx

October 14, 2011 at 1:25 AM  
Blogger donna dorrane said...

FINALLY...a blog that's not all *warm and fuzzy*, but more open, honest, and realistic. Will definitely be back to read your blog when I'm fully awake Miss Robin.

The picture you've selected for your header is *cracking me up*.

October 14, 2011 at 1:51 AM  
Blogger Broot said...

Yay it's your turn!! Happy SITS day!! :)

October 14, 2011 at 3:17 AM  
Blogger Jen@ADropintheBucket said...

Congrats on your SITS day. Admire your honesty and directness. And checked out your "about the mess" age. You have beautiful children.

October 14, 2011 at 3:18 AM  
Blogger The Toll House Cookie said...

Stopping in on your spotlight SITS Day! Love your banner shot!!! Something we have in common....but I'm still at babysteps. I blog for me and haven't told anyone that I blog. I don't know when or if I ever will. Some friends have found my blog...but I don't promote it.

October 14, 2011 at 3:41 AM  
Blogger Suesan said...

I'm looking forward to reading your blog. I've struggled with depression for 26 years. It's not a fun path, is it?

Looking forward to reading your perspective.

October 14, 2011 at 3:47 AM  
Blogger Vicki said...

Happy SITS day!!! :) Look forward to reading more of your blog later on today!!! :)

October 14, 2011 at 3:52 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

Happy SITS day. Love the photo in your banner. I think just being able to look at those mountains every day would be good therapy. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

October 14, 2011 at 4:17 AM  
Blogger Maria said...

Hi Robin,

I too was quite reluctant to include pictures of myself but the more I blogged the more I felt comfortable with this. Now I just can't stop!

I'm glad blogging provides such a good outlet for you.

Maria xx

October 14, 2011 at 4:31 AM  
Blogger Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Happy SITS Day!

Blogging helped me really work through the last of the issues I retained from my divorce... it "fixed" the things therapy could not... because of the "private' nature of some of my posts, very few people know who I am in real life and I don't use picture either... Odd that I'm more comfortable with strangers knowing some of my most personal thoughts...

October 14, 2011 at 4:44 AM  
Blogger The Blonde Duck said...

Happy SITS day!

October 14, 2011 at 5:20 AM  
Blogger Rebecca Jo said...

Happy SITS Day!

I'm excited you are featured because I'm someone who "lives" with Depression on a daily basis myself... so love to see I'm not alone...

Totally just bookmarked you so you'll be seeing more of me :)

October 14, 2011 at 6:02 AM  
Blogger Sela Toki said...

Dear Robin,

Already I can feel the serenity of your blog. Like a "refuge from the storm" type of feeling. I'm glad you're able to find some peace in blogging. By sharing yourself you're also uplifting others. Very deep, honest and heartwarming. Have a delightful SITS day.

October 14, 2011 at 6:15 AM  
Blogger Alexandra Rose said...

Happy SITS Day!

October 14, 2011 at 6:48 AM  
Anonymous syreena said...

"Sing a song. Dance. Tell a joke. Do a cartwheel. Whatever. "


I love your honestly! Happy SITS DAY!!!

October 14, 2011 at 6:57 AM  
Blogger WhisperingWriter said...

Happy SITS Day to you!!

I know blogging has helped me a lot.

October 14, 2011 at 7:06 AM  
Anonymous tori nelson said...

Love your honesty and sense of humor, Robin!

October 14, 2011 at 7:17 AM  
Anonymous Aly ~ Cooking in Stilettos said...

I am really enjoying your blog. You have such a brutal honesty that is refreshing (and I'm a bit jealous since I've been self-censoring my personal blog for years since a family member blasted me for even writing one). I think it's time to revive it alittle :) Will be back often!

October 14, 2011 at 7:50 AM  
Anonymous Denise said...

I relate to your story here. I came into the world hyper and full of energy and then went through LONG period of being withdrawn.

But, I think we all need to get back to that fearless child-like state, so that we can reveal our authentic selves.

Congrats on your Sits days! I'm happy to have found your blog there. I think I will resonate with your writing :)

October 14, 2011 at 8:02 AM  
Blogger DarthBillgr said...

Happy SITS day!!! I think you are the best!! Love, Me.

October 14, 2011 at 8:19 AM  
Blogger Leesha said...

Happy SITS day!
Your header photo cracked me up! On a different note, its nice to see that blogging has helped you. Sometimes just writing something down and getting it off your chest can be such a relief. Especially when you learn your not alone. :)

October 14, 2011 at 8:22 AM  
Blogger Katherine said...

Your writing is amazing. It's easy to relate to and honest.

October 14, 2011 at 8:58 AM  
Anonymous Caren with a "C" said...

Happy SITS Day Robin! I hope you have a great day! I've always enjoyed reading your posts. You make me laugh, smile, and realize that we are all human. Love your new site design!

October 14, 2011 at 9:13 AM  
Blogger Alene said...

Happy SITS Day. Yes, writing is so therapeutic! So glad you took up blogging to help. I love me some comments tooooooo. Blessings girl.

October 14, 2011 at 9:14 AM  
Blogger Kennedi Rose @ Face and Fitness said...

It takes so much courage to blog openly, and honestly, about all the ups and downs, highs and lows in life. Thanks for sharing this! And yes, writing is very therapeutic.

October 14, 2011 at 9:24 AM  
Blogger Leslie said...

Happy SITS day! It's so interesting to see how blogs evolve over time. It's good to know that the progression to happier posts has reflected your overall attitude. I'm looking forward to reading more!

October 14, 2011 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger Christa aka The BabbyMama said...

Happy SITS Day! I love your header banner... and your awesome honesty :)

October 14, 2011 at 9:36 AM  
Anonymous Mary said...

I was the same way; I wanted to shine as a young kid and now I run to hide behind the stage and am happiest working behind the scenes. I think that's why I like to blog - it combines both!

October 14, 2011 at 9:40 AM  
Blogger AshTreeCottage said...

I am moved by your honesty. There was a time in my life when I wanted to slip into the corner and be invisible. Perhaps at some time if we are honest with ourselves, we realize that that yearning to be private touches us all. Writing and blogging is such a good way to express our feelings and ultimately allow the bad ones to fade away. May this path be a happy one for you.

Susan and Bentley

October 14, 2011 at 9:47 AM  
Blogger Vivian said...

Happy SITS Day!

Writing is a great way to get all your thoughts out and express yourself. There were times in my life when I got so depressed I had to write it all out. That's one of the reasons why I love blogging.

Yes, comments are the best part!

October 14, 2011 at 9:57 AM  
Blogger Craftwhack said...

I SO love your header pic- it's very funny. I'm glad your blog has helped you in such profound ways- I'm finding it takes a little while to get into the groove, but it really can be very therapeutic.

October 14, 2011 at 10:00 AM  
Blogger Eva Gallant said...

Enjoy your day in the spotlight! Lots of bloggy love coming your way!

October 14, 2011 at 10:02 AM  
Blogger B said...

Happy SITS day and I totally get what you were saying about wanting attention then fleeing from it...sometimes I wonder in what moment did that change for me?

And then I embark on the quest of being more happy with who I am...and I struggle through it like it would seem you do as well.

Knowing that we aren't alone in our processes is such a comfort.
Thanks for sharing!

October 14, 2011 at 10:28 AM  
Blogger Jess said...

Hi congrats on your SITS day!! It took me awhile to (and still does sometimes) to not want to go hide in a crowded room..people are surprised to find that I am an introvert bc I make myself get out there. It toon me learning Who I am as well as 'Whose' I was :) awesome honest and real..enjoy your day!!

October 14, 2011 at 10:35 AM  
Blogger michelle @ this little light said...

Happy SITS Day! And my hat is off to you for putting it all out there, honestly. I know you think it's helpful to you, but it's helpful to so many others as well. One thing I love about the internet is how it can connect us all on our various journeys. Keep blogging, girl!

October 14, 2011 at 10:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reading this I feel it could be from me. I am still finding my way through a tough time and I have started and restarted a blog that would sort of be about that struggle but a lot about my photography and digital art, but I have yet to actually publish it. I have written and rewritten it several times afraid of what people would think or say. It helps to know that I am not the only one with these fears and struggles.

October 14, 2011 at 10:43 AM  
Blogger Eclipsed said...

A very happy sits day to my old friend!

October 14, 2011 at 10:52 AM  
OpenID said...

Congratulations on being featured on SITS today. I've been following you for a while. So nice to see you get recognition.

October 14, 2011 at 10:54 AM  
Anonymous Ginger said...

Congratulations on your SITS day. I found that much of this post really resonated with me, so I'm excited to check out more!

October 14, 2011 at 11:01 AM  
Blogger Kerri said...

Happy SITS day! Hope you get lots of love. LOVE the picture on your header. Gorgeous!

October 14, 2011 at 11:09 AM  
Blogger Cheryl Roth said...

You sound like me, except I have not shared quite as openly as you yet. I loved the About the Mess section, but did not find any mess at all, all I saw was beauty & love. Happy SITS day, I'm glad I checked in today.

October 14, 2011 at 11:35 AM  
Blogger all.things.fadra said...

I loved this post. I love good, solid, thoughtful writing. I'm excited to read some other posts. And you know what? I didn't even iss the pictures,

October 14, 2011 at 11:41 AM  
Blogger Nini said...

Popping by to say Happy SITS day. I've been browsing aorund. I like your blog....your ponderings often mimick my thoughts. I kind of tiptoed into blogging as well....actually sort I'm knee deep in it!!! :-)

October 14, 2011 at 11:57 AM  
Anonymous Betsy @ Romance on a Dime said...

Love this post! Thanks for sharing from your heart. Those posts are always better to read.

I'm so glad that blogging has been almost like therapy to you. I think it's my current obsession - I love to interact with other bloggers!!

Like you I used to crave the spotlight more. I still enjoy it, but now I gain a little bit of spotlight through my blog. :)

October 14, 2011 at 12:08 PM  
Anonymous Marie said...

Happy SITS Day! I struggled with blogging at first, but I'm glad I started. Thank you for being forward. It lets me know that it's not all for nothing.

October 14, 2011 at 12:26 PM  
Blogger LBDDiaries said...

Yay yay Robin! So glad it was finally your turn to shine (even if you don't want to, smile!) - you rock and I am so glad. Happy SITS Day. I haven't visited in awhile but LOVE your new header and the look of the site.

October 14, 2011 at 12:44 PM  
Blogger jamie @ [kreyv] said...

GREAT blog! You had me laughing as soon as I saw your banner at the top of your blog! Love it! Thanks for sharing your blog today!

October 14, 2011 at 12:53 PM  
Blogger OMG! Yummy said...

Happy SITS day! Just read your celebrity dinner post - I would want to have dinner with my grandma too! I write about her a lot on my blog and she inspires me to become a better baker - to carry on her legacy.

Enjoy your day in the spotlight. It's a good thing once in a while!

October 14, 2011 at 1:23 PM  
Blogger Cindy Lou Who said...

Congratulations on your day in the spotlight! I am a first time visitor thanks to SITS. I look forward to spending some time on your blog. I also started blogging as a way to just get thoughts out of my head and share ideas that I hope will spark conversation. I'll continue to read your blog, the content is wonderful. Thank you for being willing to share with us all!

October 14, 2011 at 1:31 PM  
Anonymous Jocelyn said...

Hi. Happy SITS day. I like how you write. I also like your previous post - whenever someone asks me that "who would you meet" question, I always say my ancestors. Celebrities? No thanks.

October 14, 2011 at 1:36 PM  
Blogger MaggieJo said...

I'm honored to leave a post today. You are a wonderful woman and your blog has introduced me to you. You touch my life through your blog. I love you Robin. And you deserve to be in the spotlight!

October 14, 2011 at 2:16 PM  
Blogger Semper Wifey said...

Happy SITS day! :)

October 14, 2011 at 2:43 PM  
Anonymous Libby said...

What a well deserved choice for featured blogger. I am already a fan as you know. I've been thinking of you a lot lately Miss Robin. I have some news to share with you but I won't do it here. Your way of putting things in perspective is just what I need right now.

October 14, 2011 at 3:45 PM  
Blogger Jamie said...

You have a great blog! Happy SITS Day! I love that you tip-toed into blogging! I did,'s even more fun because I wasn't expecting anything from it!

LOL I also think it is funny and pretty cool you don't use pictures. People are reading your blog for the text- a novel idea ;-)

October 14, 2011 at 4:03 PM  
Blogger Sherlinda Dix said...

You are a wonderful writer. Your honesty is very touching. Congratulations on your SITS Day celebration. :) Keep blogging.

October 14, 2011 at 5:34 PM  
Blogger Just Me said...

I get your blog. There are so many times I sit at home and think- "I should go to the grocery store, library (insert random errand here) and I do not because it is simply too much work or too overwhelming.

You are never in this alone.

October 14, 2011 at 7:28 PM  
Anonymous Danielle said...

Stopping by from SITS! Love the site!

October 14, 2011 at 8:37 PM  
Anonymous Megan (Best of Fates) said...

This post? Is the best SITS day post I've ever read.

October 14, 2011 at 8:46 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Hard as it might have been, I hope you enjoyed your day in the SITS spotlight :)

October 14, 2011 at 8:56 PM  
OpenID said...

I wrote on SITS that blogging is a form a therapy for me, too. It's weird that I can sit across a table from someone and say almost nothing to them, but in my blog I can be very candid.

October 14, 2011 at 9:07 PM  
Blogger Cheryl D. said...

Enjoy your day in the sun! Congrats on your SITS Day!

October 14, 2011 at 10:03 PM  
Blogger denyse said...

Your blog is a progression toward reclaiming your "awesomeness" and reminds me of a quote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure...We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.” Marianne Williamson

Keep at it!

denyse dar via SITS
Your life is a work of art!

October 15, 2011 at 3:05 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Thanks for being so honest and sharing with others the beautiful story that is your life. May you continue to find peace and joy in this wonderful journey. Have a great weekend!

October 15, 2011 at 7:58 AM  
Blogger TriGirl said...

I've always been the one to slink into a situation. I find it equally thrilling and terrifying to put myself out there on a blog. It's easy to sit at my computer and totally be myself, but then when real people talk to me about it face to face I don't really know what to say. But it's still good, isn't it?

Congrats again on the feature!

October 15, 2011 at 11:27 AM  
Blogger Amanda @ Ninth Street Notions said...

Happy SITS day!

October 15, 2011 at 1:52 PM  
Blogger My Traveling Troop said...

Happy SITS Day! Enjoy your moment in the spotlight! You deserve it!

October 15, 2011 at 4:56 PM  
OpenID beetlelovescupcakes said...

Happy SITS day! I agree with you, writing helps you think differently/better. So many things that I blog about caused me grief while they were happening, but when I read them back at a later time, I laugh at it and am able to see how I can do things better next time. :D

October 15, 2011 at 8:05 PM  
Blogger Mama Kat said...

Great post! So glad you got your feature day!

October 15, 2011 at 9:34 PM  
Anonymous Hatton said...

Congrats on your sits day! You are a beautiful writer.

October 16, 2011 at 5:18 AM  
Anonymous tracy@sellabitmum said...

Congrats on your SITS day. I love how open and honest your blog is. xo

October 16, 2011 at 5:28 AM  
OpenID cookingmisadventures said...

I love how honest you are about life. It isn't always pretty, but it's amazing. Thank you for being you! ~ Courtney

October 16, 2011 at 9:45 AM  
Anonymous Floors Of Gold said...

Open, honest and edgy! Love it! I will be back, I have a feeling there is much to learn from you.

Congratulations on your SITS day!

October 16, 2011 at 10:57 AM  
Blogger Missy said...

Happy SITS day - I hope you had a great day and met lots of new people!

October 16, 2011 at 8:13 PM  
Blogger GINNA said...

Thank you for being very open about your life. Love your blog and congrats on being the featured blogger on SITS.

October 16, 2011 at 8:13 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

Apparently nobody squelched my desire for the spotlight. I still enter the room like a little girl, "I'm here! Start the party!"

October 16, 2011 at 9:23 PM  
Blogger Victoria said...

Hope you r enjoying your SITS spotlight! Just found you and am looking foward to 'seeing' more of you. ;-D

October 16, 2011 at 10:47 PM  
Blogger Jessica {Team Rasler} said...

Sorry I'm late to say Happy SITS day! But I love that you tiptoed into blogging, just like I did. I'm trying to like being the center of attention again like I did as a child, too. : )

October 16, 2011 at 11:40 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Congrats on your SITS day!

October 17, 2011 at 12:26 AM  
Blogger Shell said...

Isn't it funny how we change so much from that attention seeking kid?

Catching up from last week's SITS feature. Hope you enjoyed your day!

October 17, 2011 at 7:23 AM  
Blogger Roxanne said...

Happy SITS day. I appreciate your candor, writing about the mess that is your life. I look forward to reading more.

October 17, 2011 at 11:33 AM  
Blogger Lady Jennie said...

Woah. That is a hefty promise. I love your heading picture. And I too struggle with depression (who doesn't? it sometimes seems).

I'm glad you're in a better place now.

October 17, 2011 at 2:31 PM  
Anonymous Stacey said...

I tip-toed into blogging too. Thanks for stopping by for my SITS day and congrats on having yours on Friday!

October 18, 2011 at 4:30 PM  
Anonymous Sara said...

Congratulations on your sit day :)

October 20, 2011 at 12:28 PM  
Blogger Margaret Almon said...

Happy Belated SITS Day! Writing has a way of helping me see patterns in my life, much like therapy does.

October 23, 2011 at 4:51 PM  
Blogger mangiabella said...

writing is certainly an important platform for me to have a place to put all those thoughts crammed in my head....for so many years I had stopped writing and now that I've begun again, the outlet is such a breath of fresh air....without it I think my head would explode! Happy very Belated SITS day to you!!

October 26, 2011 at 10:21 AM  
Anonymous OneMommy said...

Happy SITS day! Sorry I'm a little late, but I was reading the blogs I follow and just found out it was your big day! Congrats!

November 19, 2011 at 8:05 PM  

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