Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Shopping in My Pajamas

As I hop from blog to blog, I frequently run into people whose lives are completely different from mine.  People who value different things and focus their energies in other areas.  For the most part, I enjoy this.  I like learning about other people and seeing a way of life that differs from mine. 

But every now and then I run across someone who irritates me.  Not because she is different, but because she is superior, snotty, and judgmental of those who are different from her.  In her world, she is right and anyone who sees things in any other way is wrong and stupid and doesn't deserve the good things in life.

This happened recently.  Through a blogging community, I found myself at the blog of a woman with whom I am fairly certain I have almost nothing in common.  We are both women.  We both live on the planet earth.  I'm guessing we both breathe oxygen.  I'm pretty sure that's where our similarities end.

She is single, lives in London, and focuses much of her attention on fashion.  And I offend her.

I know I offend her because she said so.  In the post that bugged me she said that anyone who shops in their pajamas offends her.  She said that I had no business in the grocery store in my pajamas.  That there is no excuse, no matter how tired or lazy I am.  She said shopping in my pajamas is a statement about my low self-esteem.  She then proceeded to tell me the proper way to go to the grocery store.  The GROCERY store!  Seriously?

I understand that this post was meant to be comedic.  She was going for snarky/funny.  And from the comments on her blog it looks like her audience liked it.

I found it ridiculous.

If we are going to ban people from coming to the grocery store dressed offensively then I have a few things to add:  ultra-short shorts (the kind that barely cover their cheeks); wife-beater shirts; intense cleavage; and any clothing that is so tight or revealing as to be inappropriate for public viewing (since I am making the rules, I get to decide what is inappropriate).

From now on we will all shop in uniforms.  All pants/skirts must reach the knee.  All necklines must reach the collar bone all the way around.  Your clothes must be loose enough that you can easily put them on even when you are wet.  And I want them to all be olive green.  That way, people won't clash as they walk past each other -- because that offends me.

What an incredibly lucky young woman the author of said post is.  Her life must be flowing along smoothly and without any major problems if she has time and energy to worry about this.  She must be generally healthy and have plenty of money.  And thank heavens she decided to make sure we know what is and is not appropriate to wear to the grocery store.

I guess she has never run to the store in a hurry to try to get there before it closed because her child came down with a fever and she needed medication (after she'd gone to bed).  I guess she was never told at 10:45pm that her child had a project due the next day that would make or break his grade so she decided to sacrifice her sleep to run to the store to get what he needed and stay up all night helping.  I guess she has never been so ill she didn't know how she would make it to work and had to run to the store for anti-diarrhea medication so that she didn't get fired for missing work.

And besides all this, I guess she is so worried about what other people think of her that she feels she must put on a show every time she steps out of her house.  Some of us are actually self-confident enough to be seen in whatever we happen to be wearing without caring if the people around us approve.

I sometimes shop in my pajamas.  Sometimes because it takes every last bit of energy I have to get to the store so my family has milk.  Sometimes to get a treat for my daughter who had a difficult day.  And sometimes just because I am comfortable in my pajamas.

When I mentioned this to my friend, she pointed out that when super models are trying not to be noticed they walk around without makeup on and in sloppy clothes.  (I guess that's because they're so insecure, right?)

So I would say to the author of that post, next time you see a woman shopping in her pajamas just pretend she is a super model in hiding.  Maybe that way she won't be so offensive to you.

**********

No question, this was a full-on rant.  I was not proud of how I handled myself and addressed it soon after in A Difference of Opinion.

19 comments:

MaggieJo said...

For so many reasons this post makes my day! Thanks for the rant. But now the secret is out, Chad is a model in hiding and I will laugh every time he goes to the store.

Linda said...

Quit talking about me Robin. Ha. No worries here about being that person, since I've also been known to go to the store in PJ's, especially if it's after 9pm.

She sounds very young with no kids. Definitely no kids. Or, kids with a nanny and if that were the case why would she be in the grocery anyways. Or, a wannabe of one sort or another.
Geez, why should anyone care what someone else is wearing. Personally, I find makeup and high heels foolish, but if you want to have to do that to yourself, it's none of my business.
Just don't read her crap any longer. That's what I have to do sometimes when someone starts getting to me.

Birdie said...

If it was socially acceptable I would do everything in my jammies. Flannel.

Michelle said...

That must have been my SIL who makes it clear on a regular basis that if I'm not up and dressed and have my kids dressed and out the door to the store by 8AM I may as well not bother climbing out of bed because she definitely does not want to see me. I went to the library tonight in my pajamas. Didn't care...at all.

Libby said...

Oh you're so right Miss Robin. I think said blogger should gain a little perspective. Like you I shop in my pyjamas out of necessity and feel find doing so and my whole yoga class turns up in their ugg boots (seriously). Thanks for the chuckle.

trininista said...

Thanks for the coverage! Please note, I never said I put on a show to go to the supermarket. And I do appreciate people who have kids and are busy. My best friends are mothers but they have never gone to the supermarket in their nighties and pyjamas. I find you to be offensive and a bit myopic in reading what YOU want to read and this is all well and good. I hate women like you who think only mothers are busy and stressed out. I probably get as much sleep as a new mother because I am up studying and doing assignments. I sometimes go to class without having slept a wink. But guess what...I still change into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt or hoodie and not jump on the bus in my nightwear.
If this works for you, honey...then great. You are not sharing my neighbourhood supermarket. I am writing from my perspective and if you don't want to read it, then don't. But thanks for the hits. lol. I won't be sharing your response in the same way. It's not worth it.

Enjoy your day!

Urban Gypsy said...

WOW. Well - I wish I could shop in my pajamas. I just don't have the guts to do it...so go for it. I applaud you! And your rant! Love ya! Thanks for coming back around! :)

Anonymous said...

After reading this response to a blog I have always read since existence. I have found myself being quite disturbed by your response. I think you misunderstood what the author of "Life in Heels" was trying to say.I hate it when women make excuses because having kids allows them not to have a regular life as those women who don't. They can't go to school because they got kids, they cant work because they got kids,they cant put on proper attire to the grocery store because they have kids. It is a pet peeve of mines to hear these excuses. No one is NOT saying women are not sometimes overworked from school,kids,or their lifestyles.But,allowing the world to overtake their self esteem is a big NO NO. I solute all the women who are making it work.I know for a fact I would not walk in a corner store with my pj's or night gown if I had no sleep. Have a great day Ms. Blogger!

Anonymous said...

I must say, while I agree with you on the scenarios you have described, there is nothing as amazing for a mother to hear her little girl say "Mommy, you look pretty". That alone inspires me to want to look my best. For her. I live for her and that includes looking good too. Still, you have given us a great topic to discuss on Skype and prompted an even better blog response from the woman you found so superior. I dare say, she just might be. I just wish she would share the link so everyone else could read this. Maybe I will. Times like these, I wish I had my own blog. Be well.

Anonymous said...

I cannot believe how petty you people are being. Regardless of women being mother's or not it shouldn't matter how one person shows up to the flippin' grocery store! I also don't feel that just because women are mother's they make that an excuse..every single person has daily struggles..some worse then others but that's their business. anyone who wants to make an excuse can. that's the great thing about agency.

This is seriously the dumbest thing I have ever heard. If you(and by 'you' I mean any woman) chose to head out of your home dressed up, in sweats, in pj's or in a damn robe that is YOUR choice. If someone 'offends' you because you don't agree with how they look at the store DON'T LOOK AT THEM! Not everyone cares to get all dolled up to go to the store for something quickly, it seems pointless. I am a mother, and depending on my mood that day determines whether or not I care to stay in a t shirt and comfy shorts or put on some jeans. I am not insecure, I feel very confident and frankly I don't give a crap about what other people think about me. If someone wants to up their nose at me for going out in public the way I want so be it. my life, my way...mind your own damn business!

IF IT IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE AND RESPECT THAT HAS A NEGATIVE OPINION ABOUT YOU, THEN IT SHOULD BE TAKEN IN CONSIDERATION...

Stacie said...

good points... I know there are times I need to check my words before I say/write something snarky for the purpose of entertaining others or getting a laugh.

Beth said...

Power to you, Robin. :)

Anonymous said...

Let's see, halfway between here and London. I say CAGEFIGHT in Kentucky! I know who my money is on. I wonder how many school lunched those shiny blue shoes could provide? Feed some children, sell your shoes.

Saretta said...

Personally, I would never go to the supermarket in my pjs, but that doesn't mean I care what anyone else wears there. Just wouldn't work for me.

Stopping by from SITS!

Jade said...

It's funny the different people we come across in the blog world. Although we only choose to share what we want to share, I have to admit I've never been to the shops in my PJs yet.

However I have got up in the night to pick someone up in town and just pulled a hoody on over and gone with my PJs - that's one of those times I can hear my Mum in my head saying, what if you break down - you need to wear some proper clothes, take a jacket etc etc.

Maybe if you're single then you need to be prepared incase you meet your future husband there! There's obvisouly cultural differences there too. But I think it takes a lot to pull of the PJ look about town, some people do it pretty well - I'm sure you do!

Lisa said...

Oooooh, I'm fired up! And I LOVE that all the mean people leave anonymous comments. LAME! I wanna say "grow some balls" but that wouldn't be appropriate as a feminist and all. lol. So I'll just say GROSS! I won't even share my opinion. Cause it doesn't matter! It's a good thing none of us are the judges of life.

Stephi said...

@Trinista: Take a chill pill lovely lady.

Katrina Witt said...

I love you AUNT ROBIN!!!!

Allison said...

Wowee! I came to the party late (from SITS). I'm with you, Robin. Who cares? My husband still thinks I'm hot in my PJs, everyone else can take a hike.