Monday, December 28, 2009

You're So Vain

You probably think this blog is about you.  Don't you?

Carly Simon tribute aside, let's address this now.  My blog is not about you -- unless you choose to make it so.

If my blog makes you think, great.  If my blog makes you ponder making changes in yourself or your life, fine.  But if my blog makes you think you are not good enough in my eyes, not living up to my expectations, or have done something wrong in your interactions with me, I am not okay with that.

I have not ever used, nor will I, my blog to deliver messages to my friends, family, enemies, casual acquaintences, or any other incarnation.  I will never address a topic hoping that a particular person reads it and knows that I am talking to them and want them to change or that I am unhappy with them.  That's just not how I work.

I mention this because it has already been an issue.  I was amazed at how many people thought I was talking to them when I wrote "Who Asked You?"  That I was, in effect, chewing them out for treating me badly.  This was not about one person.  It was about a lifetime of experiences with many people.  It was about things I've learned and wanted to share.  My preferences, not your instructions.  How I like to be treated, not a command to follow my orders.  Did I think about a few people as I wrote?  Yes, I did.  Is it because I am angry at those people and wanted them to know what they'd done wrong?  No, it is not.  They came to mind for various reasons.  Just in passing.  Nothing big or life changing.

There was one person who was a catalyst (not the reason) for that blog, and she will never read it.  And she doesn't need to because when I had a problem with our interaction I addressed it with her.  That is how I work.  If I can't let it go, then I will talk to you if you've hurt or offended me (and it's pretty hard to offend me).

I write my blog for me.  I write my blog because a million thoughts are going through my mind and I need to get some of them out.  I write my blog to solidify some of those thoughts.  I write my blog for therapy and personal growth.  My personal growth.

I do not write my blog to teach anyone else a lesson.

And I do not think you are vain.


Kazzy said...

Yup, I write for myself too. It is cathartic. I turned my comments off for a few weeks months back. That was an interesting experiment. I found I missed the interaction with blog friends I have made, but never met, so I turned comments back on. But I agree that if the writing ever turns into teaching someone a lesson, etc., it loses it's purpose. I am lIking hearing your own personal voice in your blog. :)

K and D Roylance said...

I like getting a peek at what goes on in your brain. Sometimes you are quite quiet (yes you, at times) and I wonder......your blog is your place, blog on!

Edika said...

I just wanted to let you know that I love reading your blog posts, Robin! You were always so great at expressing yourself with words. You are so very talented! I just talk and talk and talk to everyone about everything in my life...that's my therapy :) My dad says that the world is my therapist. Haha! It works for me. By the way, I still think that you are a pretty amazing person :) You have always been able to help me see things in a different way and I love you for that!

Life with Kaishon said...

What a great post! I love that you will address any issues you have directly with the person. That is so much better than blogging it : )

Karen Peterson said...

I get annoyed when people are constantly using their blogs to passive-aggressively call people out. I prefer the direct approach, like you.