Okay, let's forget the fact that video game characters usually get more than one life. That's a given for envy right there.
I am not a big gamer, but I've played a few. And today I decided that I'd like to be a video game character.
I feel miserable. My head hurts. I'm exhausted. And emotionally I've got the blahs. What do I do now?
First, those things are not immediately visible to others. That means others keep needing me, bugging me, asking me, telling me, whatever. However, if I were a video game character I would have nice little bars that follow me around.
I would have one for pain; it would be black. When it's high, it means I'm in bad pain so I can't do everything I usually can until that is taken care of. Either people would ask less of me or they would try to bring my pain down.
I would have one for energy; it would be green. And when it's low people would understand why I can't go do things with them without getting their feelings hurt.
I would definitely have one for emotional stability; it would be shades of red. High (light pink) - let's play. Low (cranberry) - baby me. Flashing blood red - better run!
And better than all of that, just imagine how much simpler life would be if you had a "hint" button. Don't know what to make for dinner? Hit the hint button. Don't know whether or not you need to take your child to the doctor for this? Hit the hint button. Don't know the right response when someone is yelling at you? Hit the hint button. The possibilities are endless.
Plus, others in my life could use the hint button to find out how to help -- and they would score points for it!
And for sure, I would want someone to write a full-blown cheat for me. Enter this code and all levels immediately reach optimum, including clean house and full bank account.
But, alas, I'm not a video game character. At least not outside my own head. But in my head I call myself . . .