Tuesday, October 27, 2009

My Envy of Video Game Characters

Okay, let's forget the fact that video game characters usually get more than one life.  That's a given for envy right there.

I am not a big gamer, but I've played a few.  And today I decided that I'd like to be a video game character.

I feel miserable.  My head hurts.  I'm exhausted.  And emotionally I've got the blahs.  What do I do now?

First, those things are not immediately visible to others.  That means others keep needing me, bugging me, asking me, telling me, whatever.  However, if I were a video game character I would have nice little bars that follow me around. 

I would have one for pain; it would be black.  When it's high, it means I'm in bad pain so I can't do everything I usually can until that is taken care of.  Either people would ask less of me or they would try to bring my pain down. 

I would have one for energy; it would be green.  And when it's low people would understand why I can't go do things with them without getting their feelings hurt.

I would definitely have one for emotional stability; it would be shades of red.  High (light pink) - let's play.  Low (cranberry) - baby me.  Flashing blood red - better run!

And better than all of that, just imagine how much simpler life would be if you had a "hint" button.  Don't know what to make for dinner?  Hit the hint button.  Don't know whether or not you need to take your child to the doctor for this?  Hit the hint button.  Don't know the right response when someone is yelling at you?  Hit the hint button.  The possibilities are endless.

Plus, others in my life could use the hint button to find out how to help -- and they would score points for it!

And for sure, I would want someone to write a full-blown cheat for me.  Enter this code and all levels immediately reach optimum, including clean house and full bank account.

But, alas, I'm not a video game character.  At least not outside my own head.  But in my head I call myself . . .

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Blogger DarthBillgr said...

Welcome to the jungle baby! That's why I live life like a cartoon.

October 27, 2009 at 2:31 PM  
Blogger mcjolene said...

I like this idea a lot. At first I thought your chosen name was Sincerely Yours, but then I realized it was the title of your last piece. I do like Sincerely Yours, and if you don't use it, I think I will name my character that. I am nothing if not sincere.

October 27, 2009 at 3:26 PM  
Blogger MisssRobin said...

Bill: Wouldn't it be cool to be like Tom (from Tom and Jerry) and Wile E. Coyote? Then if you fell of the cliff, jumped off the cliff, or were pushed off the cliff you'd know you'd get a do-over in the next scene change. And just think of all the cool things you could order from Acme!

Jolene: Sincerely Yours is all yours. No matter how much work I put in, I doubt that moniker will ever truly fit me.

October 27, 2009 at 4:15 PM  
Blogger Danielle said...

Yes, I want a hint button for my life, too. I'll take the do-over as well. Thanks for the suggestion.

October 27, 2009 at 10:29 PM  
Blogger Luann said...

A hint button, like when I cheat at Sudoku on my iPhone. Not a bad idea...

October 28, 2009 at 10:27 AM  
Blogger Jessica Grosland said...

Am I missing something here? What do you call yourself in your head?

The idea, though, is genius! I've often wondered what my bars would look like if I was in the Sims. Also, I'm totally in favor of cheats. And even more than that: a PAUSE button! (*sighs longingly*)

October 28, 2009 at 12:29 PM  
Blogger K and D Roylance said...

As long as someone doesn't hit the delete key....

October 28, 2009 at 2:20 PM  
Blogger Jessica Grosland said...

Geez, I hate it when the Roylances show up and make everything depressing. They're so gloomy all the time, those two. Never smile, never wave. It's like a funeral when they show up.


October 29, 2009 at 8:48 PM  
Blogger CHERRANNE said...

Communicaion. Assumptions. Aren't they FUN???? Yeah. The frustrating part is that some of the VERY worst things that have EVER happened to Me have been due to lack of and/or Poor Communication or Assuming another's feelings or Positions about an issue. MAN. I WANT SOME OF THOSE BARS, TOO! And I want whatever issue that has been swept under the rug by Fam Members, etc. in any situation to glow vomit green and grow exponentially until they are looked in the EYE!!! Not that They don't grow, but the selective blindness to some issues can be frustrating. Oh, Well. Am i even coherent? Do I make sense? Take Care, Robin.

November 8, 2009 at 12:13 AM  

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